Butterflies & Covid
It is right about now, with only a few days remaining before we circle up, that the butterflies start to flutter. Despite what you might think, I’m not fearless. Even as your guide who has been through this before, I get them too. I hold excitement of what’s to come. I also hold expectations for what I hope will be a life changing experience for each of us. All of this fuels my own anticipatory anxiety. Throw in a long list of to do’s as I tackle every last detail - hiking routes, dessert choices, music playlists, and whether we’ve got enough bug spray - and you’ve got a real sense of my frenetic state. At the same time, my mind is bouncing with personal thoughts about what I aspire to gain from this time away. Just like you, I need to hit my own reset button. I aspire to go deeper than ever with myself. So yes, I’m eagerly looking forward to next week as are the butterflies in my stomach.
But I’m also well aware of your reality which is not the same as mine. You have thrown your hat into a ring you know little about. Y’all don’t know what I know. You haven’t been through this mysterious wilderness-based experience. You are blind to what’s around the corner, how things will play out, or what revelations you will encounter. You have no context for Soul Degree - I get it. This has got to be 10x more nerve racking. It seems the only thing you can hold onto are the packing list provided and your unfounded reasons for committing to five days in the woods with a group of total strangers. At this point, I know it does little good encouraging you to relax. Not until you’re packed up and driving towards Vermont will you feel like it’s game time. And not until you’re actually sitting in the sharing circle or around the campfire will you really be able to find a sense of ease. That time is coming. It’s going to be great!!
And even before we actually meet up, trade stories and compare life notes, I want to point out one common thread. We all hold a very raw and real shared experience. Defined as a year plus of living in a Pandemic. Just the word itself sounds draconian. But it can’t be denied. We’ve experienced fear and pain, upset and loss. We have been shaken and stirred, picked up and knocked down. And at this very moment, we’re all coming out of our collective caves shielding our eyes from the bright rays of new hope and forgotten normalcy. Shit just the experience of entering a grocery store without a mask feels like a new beginning.
But as the uncertainty of Covid begins to lift, there remains the unknown of what’s next. “What now” is the question I keep asking myself. Now that I have been through “all that,” how do I make sense of what actually happened? What did I learn about myself or others? And perhaps most importantly, what should I extract from this bizarre moment in history. What nuggets of exposed truth might propel me to make meaningful changes in my future?
I’m not suggesting we’re all change junkies, but let’s face it, the world is changed. For better or worse? Who the fuck knows. But changed, yes. So it goes without saying that we too are living in an altered state. We’re in the midst of our own metamorphosis. We’re all coming out of our cocoons that have been our homes, cars, backwoods, secret hiding places. And beyond our physical existence, we are opening up to a new emotional and psychological perspective that comes on the coattails of this unprecedented shared experience.
To this end, the prework questions we pose before our meet up are more pronounced than ever. There is a little extra oomph behind what’s true for you now. So use your reflection time wisely. Examine what you have felt. And on the eve of our time together, what you currently feel. And lastly, what you aspire to embrace more of in the days and years ahead. Please know that Soul Degree presents a brilliant opportunity - to take your mask off. The blue paper one of course. But also the invisible ones we inexcusably wear in our everyday lives. Thank you in advance for your courage to be present, your willingness to share perspective, and your generosity of spirit. See you soon.
- Chris 6/3/21